Habit #6 is Community Building

Community Building is a habit that is a paradigm shift away from “activity-led” programming, which creates a curriculum centered on the activities – activities to keep kids busy and out of our hair. Activities without attention to purpose or ethical dimension of community building miss the opportunity to facilitate the child’s social development.

We believe in an afterschool program all the activities should have a purpose. 

In autumn when the leaves fall we see leaf crafts o-plenty! Afterschool program leaders have children making leaf prints, leaf collages, leaf mobiles, leaf placemats, and preserving leafs between sheets of waxed paper. Now… there is nothing wrong with leaf crafts in and of themselves. But often these projects are all about making the final product – a piece of refrigerator art for parents to attach to their refrigerators with magnetic fruit. These projects miss an opportunity to teach leadership, sharing, caring, altruism, and empathy.

A highly effective leader in our afterschool program named Ursula had a different idea about what to do with all the falling leaves. Ursula wanted to start a leaf-raking club: go out into the community with a group of kids and beautify the neighborhood. I remember how much I love jumping into piles of leaves as a kid. The jump was fun enough to make raking up the leaves almost pleasurable. But Ursula didn’t plan for any jumping – only raking. So in my mind I thought, “That will never work.” But we have a rule in our program – Never “firehose” someone else’s idea.

So, I said, “OK Ursula what do you need from me to get started?” Ursula said, “Just give me some rakes and turn us loose.” I purchased fifteen rakes, feeling skeptical about how many kids would volunteer to rake someone else’s leaves. I put on my work clothes so I could lend a hand and see for myself how many kids showed up. We had more eager kids than we had rakes.

We got started. We raked a few yards and were proceeding up the walkway to our next house when we heard the screen door slam open. An older man (a retired professor from the University of New Mexico named Dr. Anderson I would learn later) emerged with an angry snarl. He said, “I don’t know what you are doing or what you are selling but your are making too much noise and I am trying to work, so MOVE ALONG!”

One of our more vocal boys – Brandon said, “Geez we were just cleaning up the neighborhood for free you old jerk.”  I shook my head in reproach at Brandon for speaking to an adult in that way. In my mind I said, “Yeah he’s right. We were doing a good thing you old jerk!”

We went on to the next house, and the next. A while later we saw Dr. Anderson approaching with a tray full of cups filled with cool lemonade. He said, “I thought you kids might be thirsty.” The kids all grabbed a cup and quickly downed them with accompanying gasps and panting.


Thirsty kids make funny sounds when they drink!

The next day I got a call from the Principal of the elementary school. She wanted to see me in her office. I felt like a ten year old again.

When I arrived at her office she said, “I got a call from someone in the community about something you were doing on the yards of some of the houses around the school.” I thought, “Did that old jerk actually complain?”

She said, “I don’t know if you have any idea what you have done. There is this guy – Dr. Anderson. He is very vocal. Everytime I have a school event he complains about the cars parking in front of his house. When we try to change something on campus he shows up at the town hall meeting to complain. When there is a school bond issue up for a vote, he pickets and puts out “No New Taxes” signs.”

I had seen the signs – old jerk.

She said, “Remember when we tried to build that big shade canopy on the playground? Well, Dr. Anderson complained about the potential ‘eyesore’ so much that the district denied to build it.”

I said, “So he complained about us?”

“No, like I said I don’t think you have any idea what you have done. This guy comes into my office and said that he doesn’t really like kids. Shocker right? He says that he thinks kids are brats with poor parents and that this whole country is going ‘to hell in a handbasket.’ He says if when he’s out walking he sees a group of youth that he walks the other way. Then he starts to tear up. He says that he didn’t think kids did anything like this anymore. He was shocked that kids would do something – work hard – for their neighbors, for their community without getting anything in return. He said that he felt like he had been a … “little resistent” to some of the things I had tried to do at the school.”

Understatement.

“He asked if there was anything he could do to SUPPORT the school. So, I put him on the SRC – the school restructuring committee.”

Dr. Anderson was on the SRC for a year. Then he became the president of the SRC. Then he chaired a fundraising committee to build a SHADE CANOPY on the school. The committee was so successful we raised enough funds to build TWO shade canopies. Awesome!

The point is that instead of making leaf crafts that fail to take advantage of life skill building opportunities, create activities that have a PURPOSE. A service project like this can empower kids to make a difference. When children feel that the community values and appreciates them they gain a sense of personal power. When highly-effective afterschool leaders give children useful roles, when they experience how they can serve the community, they begin to show interest in making the community a better place.

Community-building is all about creating a sense of belonging. To become happy and successful adults, children need a sense of belonging and membership.  Having a sense of belonging to a group makes children feel safer in their surroundings.  Safety and a sense of belonging are basic needs that are critical to healthy development.


Community-building is a habit that must be built into intentional programming in the environment, relationships, and experiences. Service projects like Ursula’s leaf-raking club facilitate the development of these skills, competencies and behaviors, and they lead to a strong sense of belonging.


Community-building should be the effective leader’s “default setting.” Every decision that children and adults make is filtered through this default setting of who they are and how they fit in to the group.  Giving children and leaders in our programs useful roles, meaningful work and tasks to accomplish builds a strong sense of community and belonging and membership to the group.


By the way, Ursula’s leaf raking club has continued to exist for more than 10 years in numerous forms and variations. It became to be known as the Community Kids Club, the Pay it Forward Club, the Make a Difference Club. Some form of a community-building/community-service club exists in all of our programs. It is a habit.

Try This: No “Firehosing” Rule

When someone expresses an opinion or has an idea that you disagree with, resist the urge to “fire hose” them. Fire hosing when someone has an opinion or idea and someone on the team (often someone with more “power”) extinguishes the idea by listing all of the reasons why it is incorrect or won’t work. Replace the word “but” with “and” or “if.” Don’t say, “That’s a good idea, BUT we can’t afford it.” Instead, say, “That’s a good idea, AND it might work, IF you can find a way to afford it.” Keep an open mind and you’ll get more brains working for you!

Discussion Questions:

1. Take a look at your activity calendar for next month or next week. Do you see any activities that make you think, “What is the purpose of that?” Don’t trash them, instead ask yourself or your staff, “How can we kick that up a notch?” How can we intentionally focus on skill building through that activity?
2. Think about your staff team? Is there a strong sense of teamwork and community among staff? What can you do to build stronger staff relationships?